#pinkygate, one year (and one week, and one day) later

I fell off Runkle on April 10th, and it changed my life.


I've gotten to do a lot of amazing things. I worked in London for six months, I've gotten to compete all over the East coast, I went to a really nice college and studied whatever my heart desired. I've had all the opportunities. But the most influential thing that's happened to me in recent memory is that fall.

I was in a different place this time last year, and it wasn't a great place. It was made worse by breaking the most useless digit that required surgery, and rehab, and and and...

And I couldn't ride.
My first ride back.
But in the time I was grounded, and I was so miserable I could barely bring myself to go to the barn to see my horse, I learned a lot about my life as it was and realized that I hated it. I realized I needed to make a huge change, and I grappled with what that would be. I clearly couldn't balance riding and work (and the amount of studying that came with work) so in loyalty to my job and knowing I couldn't afford a horse without it I considered selling Runkle.

But I was so miserable. I hated my job and the life it created for me, so why the hell was I considering getting rid of the only thing that makes me happy to try and make it work? That idea went into the circular file (garbage) and I worked on fixing the part that didn't make me happy.

After a few months of strategic planning and help from people who believed in me I got a new job that is a significantly better fit. Since then I've made several deliberate changes that have landed me here, where I am now, which is genuine happiness and optimism in the future.


Besides the changes in my own non-horse life, the time off also helped Runkle. I took things very slowly with him but I still had to constantly balance the risk of rushing him. It's hard when horses are good and try hard, it's an easy thing to take advantage of as a rider or trainer. But between #pinkygate and Splintzilla we were forced to take the better part of five months off last year and in that time Runkle got to develop.

I personally think he's gotten taller, he's sorting out his bitchy teenager phase, and he's handling himself better in tense situations. Basically he's maturing. That's not time he would've gotten without our little incidents.


The moral of the story is, sometimes life is gonna be a piece of shit to you. But it's okay, because it might have a good reason. That's not the time to give up, it's the time to take advantage.

Comments

  1. Girrrrrrrrrl, YES. The pinky is the most useless digit we have, yet maybe the most annoying to injure? (speaking from personal experience here, I broke mine a few years ago and it was SO ANNOYING).

    Glad the time off helped you and your pony, you guys are a great team! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you!!

      what is with people and breaking pinkies?? as soon as I bitched about breaking mine people came out of the woodowkr. I didn't realize it was such a thing?!

      Delete
    2. Apparently it IS a thing, but it's the worst kind of thing bc it's so damn annoying. Ugh. Pinkies are TERRIBLE.

      Delete
  2. I'm glad you're in a better place now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too!! altho I wish i didn't have to fall off a cliff to make positive life changes

      Delete
  3. I love how you dug deep and turned what could have been a devastating event into positive change. <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know it's cliche to say that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes, it truly does. Glad the two of you are where you are now, and can't wait to see what you accomplish in the future!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's soooo cliche but you know what? it's cliche for a reason. and it makes bad stuff seem less terrible

      Delete
  5. it's amazing - my own broken bone spelled an equally seismic shift in my life too. like the injury opened my eyes similarly to shortcomings or holes in the life i'd built around myself, and led me to making a few fairly drastic changes. alas i'm not sure mine have worked out quite as well as yours, but it's enlightening all the same. so crazy tho, how something so unexpected (and theoretically marginal or temporary) can have such outsized impact....

    anyway. i'm so glad to hear that life is back on track in a big way for you guys!! can't wait to see you at FH!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah I thought about your leg actually when I was writing it. talk about outsized impact. you just fell out of your trailer, silly girl...

      FAIR HILL OR BUST. thanks for making sure I got my entry in on time hahahha

      Delete
  6. First, I'm glad I'm not the only one using "...gate" as a name for anything bad. Second, I still think it's super scary that a pinky can cause that many problems. But third, glad you got to do all that stuff! But for real, keep with the Runkle helmet cams. And bubble wrap the pinky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pinky was bubbled wrapped for a long.... long... (long...) time. but I'm finally not so paranoid about it!

      bc if I break it again I'm just cutting it off this time. you get one shot pinky.

      Delete
  7. Preach! <3

    It's so funny how when things are truly terrible that sometimes that's a catalyst for change that turns into great things. I also agree that trainers/riders can easily push good horses too far too fast (and I"m trying to keep this in mind with my youngsters).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's soooo hard when they have a good work ethic. they just give and give and it's natural to want to keep taking when really we should pause every once in awhile.

      Delete

Post a Comment

I love comments so much, it makes me want to give you a BIG hug.

Popular Posts