Show Ring Ready

Normally when I competed (now coming up on two years ago... oi) all I cared about was how my horse looked.

Braided, bathed, and all the blue shampoo.

I was meticulous about my bathing, braiding and grooming. And I was just doing schooling shows. Lexy, my last competition partner, had chrome for DAYS and I loved showing it off. Maybe I vainly hoped it would distract from our dressage...

I think this is the one time she wasn't braided.
EVERYTHINGS FINE, DRESSAGE JUDGE.

As for the rest of it, I was a lazy piece of shit. The tack wasn't crusted with dried grass slime, but that's the best I can say about it. Brass was definitely not polished. And, um, forget about my saddles. I never touched them. I went to a schooling show at Plantation Field, on of the last of 2013, just after Boyd Martin had broken his leg and was out of commission for awhile. I had all the riding prep done, but my tack hadn't been touched in weeks. In my defense, I had just had a huge exam!! Of course I get to the show and realize that not only is Boyd dressage judging at the show but he was judging my ring. I flew into frantic preparations to try and clean off my grimy leather with a wet papertowel (I do not advise)*.

Plz to be ignoring my untucked shirt. And I did dressage in that helmet.

The biggest issue when I'm showing isn't the tack though. It's me.

My very first recognized horse show I was wearing a lavender polo (because I couldn't find white) and my navy Tipperary helmet which is a vented ugly as sin piece of headgear. My horse looked so much nicer than me the pictures were a little embarrassing. And we definitely did NOT score well.

Someone felt bad (or was horrified) by my turnout and gave me some hand me down show clothes,  so there was a small uptick in how I looked. At least I was wearing a white shirt with a belt, even if that white shirt was a too small. I never bothered wearing a coat because I didn't have one that fit, and my hair was too short to put in a hair net but too long to be left alone so I just had little pieces hanging out... I'm embarrassing myself.

While I had the right (or at least, more right than they were) clothes, I still had issues with keeping clean. I hate changing into breeches when its hot. I feel like I'm getting ductape stuck to everything and I'm constantly trying to peel it off. It's all very uncomfortable. I used to wear swishy warmup pants over them, but those got lost (or outgrown) so I just wore my breeches.

They definitely suffered.

By the time I went into the dressage ring I usually had been slimed at least once, spilled a jug of water on myself, gotten mud on my pants from trying to put in studs, and occasionally marked myself with boot polish. And chances are my shirt was full of hay from earlier in the morning. Walking disaster doesn't begin to cover it.

Technical fabric? We are truly in the future.

Now I want to look as nice as Runkle though. I don't want to be some stained slob on top of a perfect pony. I want us to match. I bought a showcoat (THAT FITS). I have tallboots that fit. I have a real show shirt and A TIE. I saw someone across the pond competing with a tie not a stock and I was so enamored with the idea I'm copying it and no one can stop me. F the stocks. I'll wear a tie like a real man.

I don't want to admit how long it took me to tie this.

I'll wear a hairnet. I'll be clean (ish). And we'll both be fabulous.

*I clean my tack once a week now. Honest. Sometimes more! So it is getting better.