Fear of Making Plans

Howdy y'all!

I am back from the untamed wilds of Montana (and Wyoming, I guess technically. And Seattle). While Rebecca Farm was on my bucket list, the rest of Montana wasn't and it really should have been. I have tons of media, including a several hour long helmet cam in which my friend and I practice some low stress livestock management. (She works here, if you want to eat grass fed beef. I had some, you do.)

A livestock experiencing low stress
But now that I'm back, WITH the all clear from my doctor to ride finally, I have thrown myself full tilt into Runkle. We finally started jumping again, and I was nervous for our first lesson back but he assured me it was a nonissue by being foot perfect and again the easiest horse ever to jump. He solidified that for me this week by taking the really interesting decisions I was dishing out with a minor amount of sass.

He is awesome.

It feels weird to be back and planning for my future because I have been off plan for so long. I'm also a little afraid that the second I say I want to do something I will break an even dumber bone than my pinky. But I guess that is life, right? There's no room to be afraid when you're grabbing a bull by the horns, and other such tired metaphors.

There's an in house schooling show at my farm in a little over two weeks that Runkle and I will be contesting. No one else enter Beginner Novice A I want a blue ribbon. The weekend after that we're going to do the Combined Test at Flora Lea, followed by Runkle's very first horse trial!!

I'll believe it when I'm leaving the start box, honestly.

How do you balance making plans and then the total bastardization of those plans? I'm back to riding like normal, jumping like normal, and galloping over fields (like... not normal). But when I think about what I want to do in the future I suddenly shy away from making a plan. What if something happens to me? What if something happens at work or I have a family emergency?

I feel like I've said this before, but I'm capable of and used to dealing with horse injury. That's a fact of horse life. What's shaken me up is there is more than one way to hit a detour, besides Runkle kicking himself in the face somehow.

This post turned out to be more of a downer than I intended. I guess I'm afraid for the future because I feel like I have a lot to lose, since it's all exciting stuff that I cannot wait for. Which is good!? Yes. Being excited about life is good even if it is scary. Who knows. Have some pictures of Montana and make plans to go there yourself, because it's worth the trip.

My friend's horse, Zuby the Arabian
Her other cow horse Blue that she LASSOS OFF OF!
Her and Zuby <3
Alpine flowers
The Lamar Valley at dawn

She lives here. YES REALLY.
From the top of the Bear Tooth Highway
Dog's best friend... a stick.


  1. I blindly make plans and reassess as necessary. Granted I still get bummed when plans don't happen but that is life. Adulting sucks a lot. :)
    PS I love the pictures. I miss the west.

    1. right?? i keep having these flashes of realization where i remember being a kid WANTING to be an adult and wondering if i was high or if all children are so misguided.

      i guess i just need to be more okay with my plans exploding. which means making more plans, and letting them explode! BOOM

  2. I love making plans and used to get super mentally stymied when they fell apart, I've learned to be okay with it it just takes a lot of time

  3. I also hate making plans. I feel like anything I sign up for more than 2 weeks in advance will find some way to be ruined. But so many shows and endurance rides demand that you sign up weeks or even a month in advance. Beautiful pictures; looks like a fun trip.

  4. if 'fear of making plans' = 'fomp,' i don't think it's a coincidence that it rhymes with 'womp womp.' lol... but yea i feel ya. i'm kinda in a very noncommittal place in my life right now too, but it's honestly not my favorite way to be. what can i say, i <3 plans. and honestly it really isn't the end of the world when they don't work out...

    so ya know. i'd say go on and get out there with the plans! but... just to be on the safe side... maybe take some extra care getting in and out of the trailer. just in case lol.


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