What They Taught Me: Lexy

I've had a lot of trouble starting this entry. Some form of this draft is over a year old, if that's any indication. Because what do you say about a horse that did so much for you without sounding incredibly trite? And even when I finished the entry I still didn't post it. Because I felt like it wasn't good enough for her and she means so much to me. A close friend pointed out that I'd never think it was good enough and she's probably right, so I'm just going to post it anyway.

I was coming to the end of my time with Nitro as he had given me all he could (which was more than I expected). But that left a gap in my life that still needed sorting out. Graduating from lesson pony to ride... what? My friend A suggested one of my trainer's horses: Lexy. She's the queen of the mare field, in all her redheaded Thoroughbred glory. She had been sitting for six months, because no one else was interested in riding her and absolutely no one had considered her as an option for me. She's the Princess (Princess Fiona). Opinionated, stubborn, and fearless.

Our relationship started slow because this is the kind of horse that you really need to put the legwork in early on. Our first lesson we walked for a half an hour. At the end of which I was drenched in sweat - seriously! It took another lesson to pick up the trot and two months before we could canter. And forget jumping. I started riding her in December, and I didn't start jumping her until May. We left the start box for the first time together in June, six months after our liaison began.

Every month though, I was amazed at the progress we had made. I never set a single goal for us. She was a lesson in patience and diligence in the basics that I still haven't forgotten. And in that time she became more than my trainer's horse that I was riding until something else happened. She became my partner and, in a slightly contrived Saddle Club way, my best friend.

One of our better dressage moments.

My first training level.

I could write five pages detailing all the things she's done for me. Taught me the hard way how to take myself less seriously. Different tricks to keep an older horse with a very active career sound and comfortable on a budget (hint: ice. Lots of ice). How to come back from a crappy dressage test. What a truly great cross country horse feels like.

The best thing Lexy did for me was make me look at myself. When I started riding her I had horrible anxiety, sometimes to the point where my poor trainer had to shove us into the start box while I was hyperventilating. Lexy always got us through okay. And between her and plenty of therapy (that I started because I was tired of being shoved into the start box) I actually started to get control of myself. And it didn't just help with my riding, but other doors opened too, both socially and at work. I   maintain that because of her I nailed a critical interview and got a position in London. It seems dumb to the layperson to attribute that to a horse, but she was the snowflake (the special, special snowflake) that started the avalanche.

Bought that blanket just for her :*

Every once in awhile I hop on her. She's mostly retired now, and also she destroys my back. But when I do ride her, she feels like putting on my favorite pair of jeans. I know her inside and out. She's comfortable and makes me feel invincible. I'm so unbelievably thankful to my trainer for giving me the chance to let her teach me, because she had a lot to give.

And I'm thankful to the mare for giving me a shot. Because a horse like that makes a decision and lets you enter the partnership. I honestly think she believed in us more than I did, especially in the beginning.

Thank you Lulu, I seriously couldn't have done it without you.