Setting the Stage

Ugh, I really miss blogging.

To someone who doesn't blog (or doesn't write, or maybe doesn't have ADHD) this might seem like a silly thing to miss. What is stopping me? I have an internet connection. I have hands. I blogged even when I only had 9/10ths of my usual hands. So what's the problem now?
I had a lot going on after the move, and was doing lots of COOL things. I tried mounted archery. I found a fantastic biomechanics trainer that actually made Spicy ride-able. I even had a lesson with a coach and strategized how to win a belt buckle barrel racing. But that whole time, something was bothering me.
Not a niggling in the back of my head. A pain. In the back of my leg.
It started in August and I ignored it for awhile. As time went on, I realized my dosage of ibuprofen was going up and up and up, and the pain wasn't really abating. I tried exercising it, resting it, stretching it. Ice, heat, compression, lighting candles and praying. My pain was pretty solidly a 9 every day, and the only reason it wasn't a 10 was because I've never been shot, and I imagine being shot hurts worse.
After a solid 6 weeks of no improvement, my wife pointed out that over the summer Spicy was 0.5 degrees lame and I had the vet out within two weeks for rads of both front feet. She not so gently suggested I might want to offer myself the same luxury. I begrudgingly made a doctor's appointment and after trying low hanging fruit that did absolutely nothing, I got diagnosed with a torn hamstring. 
So far, I really suck on stall rest. I asked the orthopedist if they made reserpine for people, and he laughed but I wasn't joking. I also have a new appreciation for the complexity of rehabbing. I'm in physical therapy, doing exercises on my own and supervised. We have a plan. It is a good plan.
The amount of fear I have to overcome on a daily basis to do these simplest of exercises is fascinating to me. I'm so used to things hurting that whenever the PT asks me to do something new, I feel my butthole pucker. Is it going to hurt? How much is it going to hurt? Am I going to tear my other hamstring? Will I re-tear this one? If not today, when? In a month? A year? Five years?
All the while, I've been earth bound. I'm trying to play with Spicy as much as I can but it's so depressing and dark and cold and, frankly, I'm so sick of doing ground work I could puke. He doesn't need more ground work!! I want to RIDE. I briefly considered sending him to boarding school, but the thought of him being far away choked me. Even if I can't ride, I find my trips out to the barn extremely therapeutic.

So here I am. Unable to write, because I'm unable to ride. Unable to write because I feel like this is in my way. I know this won't last forever, but for right now it feels interminable.


  1. Hugs ❤️ I hope you continue to progress with the PT and your hamstring heals quickly so you can get back in the saddle! Maybe while you're "grounded" you could tell us more about the archery and the barrel racing and the biomechanics! 😉

  2. So sorry. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

  3. Oh gosh what tough news, I'm so sorry! Glad you figured out the issue though, and hopefully the next time you swing aboard it will be pain-free. Hang in there!

  4. Ugh. I would suck at stall rest too. I hope you heal quickly. I understand about the being sick of groundwork. Maybe you could spend the time looking at videos?

  5. Ugh, I'm so sorry! Glad you finally got it checked out though. I hope you heal quickly and thoroughly! Also, you can just post endless photos of your visits with Spicy. We'd all come by for that.

  6. Ugh so sorry about your injury but I'm glad your wife convinced you to unravel you pain so you can make it onto the road to recovery


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