Enjoy the Bad Days

Spicy and I have been plugging along at our work. Some days, he blows me away. He ignores saws and heavy machinery and the donkey next door which is apparently the spawn of Satan.

Other days the tiniest things set him off. Someone a mile away slams a trailer door and he becomes completely unhinged and unable to give me a passing thought. Those are his diva days. When he just can't even.

I'm going to reuse this gif a lot.

A few weeks ago, on a lovely Saturday, he gave me a ride that was the best he's ever been (I gave him five stars for the first time on the Equisense app!), and then on Monday he was so busy spooking and trying to run back to the barn I had to really work to get his attention and be able to influence him.

To be honest, I enjoyed him equally both days.

Saturday did see us jumping the roll top together, but Monday saw him working through a very persistent case of barn sourness that I actually saw the other side of. When your horse is having a true training issue, the way out is through. I find this especially true with barn sourness. The long lining has really opened up my abilities. I can work through things in a calm and controlled manner from the safety of the ground, and that safety allows me to be fair, rational, and better timed with my releases.

I'm not always the best, and neither is he, but we're both getting there together.

There's definitely an inclination in blogging to only share the victories. That I shouldn't tell you that while our training has been going miles better, it hasn't been perfect.

I'm not supposed to say, I got so mad once I chucked him back out in the field without brushing him because I couldn't even look at him. I'm not supposed to say I had to buy a new helmet a month ago because he spooked and lawn darted me into the dirt. I'm not supposed to say I was working him in hand and he bit me, and not only did he break skin but he ripped my favorite hoodie.

It was this one. I'm still mad about it.

I definitely shouldn't say I've wondered if I'm the right owner for him. That I've thought about if he'd be happier somewhere else, with someone else. Or if I would be happier with another horse.

But it feels dishonest not to say these things. It's not a fair representation of our journey. If you want to train your own horse, you're going to have to learn to enjoy the bad days. No, I couldn't even get on him on that Monday because he was being such a diva. But we did work through it. He finished the calm, workmanlike horse I know he can be.

Greyscale is our baseline, color the beginning of April

At the end of the day I think of one of my favorite quotes from Jimmy Wofford.

"My ideal horse is the horse I fall in love with again every morning when I see his face hanging over the stable door, looking for breakfast. If you do not like a horse the first time you see him, do not talk yourself into buying him. You will always secretly be unhappy with him, and you won't make the necessary excuses for his inevitably mistakes in the training process."

No matter how frustrated I get, it never dominates the swell I feel when I call him and he comes running. This horse is irrevocably mine, and diva dramatics or not, I love him.