Let's Talk About Butts

Something I always pride myself on is my horses' huge ripply butts.

Every horse I've ridden, on a scale of A to Badonk has been totally bootylicious.

This girl was queen of booty.

Burying your horse at the jump makes them work.
That's right, this was totally intentional.

I hate to see you leave
but I love to watch you go.

Tail whip optional.

Indy's butt is sad. It's getting less sad but he doesn't have the ass I pride myself on. The question is how do we get there? I live in New Jersey so don't come at me with the hillwork suggestion. So how do you do hillwork without hills?

not... quite there yet.

That's the best way to do booty work with the least amount of rider effort, in my opinion. It's worth learning how to set them, I'm no expert so consult your favorite trainer or jumping book. I'm not allowed to leave a billion poles laying all over the ring (I'm sure the staff that drag the arenas LOVE me...) so I have gotten very good at setting them. It's also a great bonus arm workout to carry 4-8 poles in and out on the regular. I usually do 5 of my feet end to end.

Depending on how you space them you can get different kinds of booty work. Spreading them out forces them to reach, while putting them close together renders some more up and down booty movement. If you don't want to set up a million rails or get on and off a million times, you can fan them through a corner. You can also raise them slightly for maximum prancercise stepping!

Nothing got Runkle's ass tired and in shape like walk/canter transitions. Doing them properly requires your horse to really get their ish together and step under themselves. But if your horse is a bit more flail, lower level transitions also help. Indy is master of walk/trot transitions. Transitions between gaits are great, but don't ignore the ones within the gaits as well!

Most underrated exercise there is. Walk your horse. And not on a loose rein you lazy ho, get a nice marching walk with some balance and reach. Work between free and medium. Lateral work at the walk. When I rode the red mare I had to keep her in shape with as little impact as possible given she had the feet of a fossil and the metabolism of an air fern. She got fat when it rained too much.

Walk out. Enjoy your horse. Enjoy the sun on your face. Do it bareback! You can't walk your horse too much. Trust me.

Does your horse have a booty worth of Sir Mix-alot? How do you keep them plump? I want to know!!


  1. My horse is just really round. Not particularly muscly, but pleasingly curvy.

  2. Henry comes by his fat ass naturally. Thanks Danzig!

  3. I have two mares with Jennifer Aniston/skinny white girl asses. Clearly I need to up my pole work and transitions game...

  4. before my horse fell apart from death by a thousand paper cuts, he was starting to get these plump little dimple-y curves on either side of his tail and i was SO EXCITED OMG that my lanky gangly long and lean fellow was FINALLY putting more apple in his bottom. alas.... then the dings came. at least i know it's possible tho!!

  5. Canter/walk transitions are awesome. So are walk pirouettes. Also good is shoulder in. Love all these things muchly.

  6. I LOVE transitions for booty work! I'm with you though, nothing beats the walk work for hind end development!

  7. I walk and ride hills a loooot. Really a lot. And do a million transitions. But I also love poles! Raised walk poles are the shit.

  8. Ohhhh this is where my Quarter Horse foundation shines through. I love a horse with a booty.
    Dragging things - tires, logs - puts one on for sure, but depending on horse's disposition, also might invite them to murder you. Lots and lots of backing - we back through things - straight chutes, around Ls, Us, zig zags, circles, cloverleafs, all the things. Backwards. And lots and lots of walking!

  9. Chimi needs major booty workouts! He was getting a butt until I had to stop riding him over the summer for work and the lady that kept him going didn't make him use his hind end the same as I did. Plus he loves to pull with his shoulders (which are massive!) so it's been a long road teaching him how to push instead of pull!!!! And now he has an abscess that won't go away....grrrr it's never ending!!!! But I'm definitely going to set some poles up for him this winter :)

  10. Ugh, send P some of the booty. We're in flat land also, but finally are at a barn where I can set up cavaletti and pole exercises.

  11. Indy has the biggest baddest muscle butt! He was named Pitbull at the track because he's so ripped. My two mares are working on theirs as we speak haha

  12. My horses all have pretty impressive booties. Rio's has lost some of it's original badonk (if you will) (thanks EPM) but it's still pretty nice if you ask me. I might be biased.
    The baby horse has THE most impressive ass. I'm pretty sure "Dutch Warmblood" is actually 3/4 quarter horse in his case. He spends a lot of time doing raised cavelletti bounces.

  13. Stan comes by his ass naturally as a QH. Q and Grif have a lot to wish for, but I do a lot of the exercises you outline above to help with it! I definitely need to up my ground pole game this winter in our flat work.

  14. Remus has a butt pretty much year round and not from me riding him. LOL. BUT the hills at his farm are fantastic and he has to go up and down them all the time in the field so that helps I think. But he will always have a big fat ass thanks to his QH Genes. And maybe that is good :)


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