A Half Marathoner is Born

I ran my half, and have very dutifully made a scientific mile by mile record of how it went. How to run a half marathon, in seventeen easy steps.

I'm in the purple corral 😏😏💜💜 #phillyhalf by @kieshorse

Start: The pacer group promised a 'nice slow start' to the race as mile 1 is our warm up. Next to me were two 50+ year old women. I looked forward to them kicking my ass.

Mile 1: The pacer group took off like a shot and I let them go. I actually let most people go, because the horn went and everyone broke out like it was the Kentucky Derby. I had been warned by everyone against this and frankly I am no speed demon so I was fine lolloping along letting everyone pass me.

It looked almost exactly like this. Except Sylvester Stallone wasn't there.
Mile 2: All those people who bolted past me? I caught up. Also my parents were there! The course ran around City Hall. I would've appreciated it for being cooler if I weren't worried about my impending death. We also hit our first water stop and I accidentally took a mouthful of Gatorade, expecting it to be water, and nearly spit it all over the volunteer who handed it to me.

Mile 3: Went back past the start and the Art Museum. Saw my parents again, as you could easily hit two spots on the course without walking much.

Mile 4: My biggest incentive during the run was eating the stupid gels. The banana ones and the apple cinnamon ones. The apple cinnamon tasted like pie, I think I got through the first three miles because I wanted pie.

Fat kid dreams

Mile 5: We were out of the city and the spectators were pretty sparse. Even though I had lost the pacer group I could still see them about 100 yards or so ahead of me and they weren't getting any farther away, which was shocking to me. I finally actually felt good too, usually it takes three or four miles for me to feel warmed up properly.

Mile 6: Ran past Boathouse Row. They're probably my favorite part of the 'Philly landscape' and I  really liked that we swung past them on the new course.

This is what they looked like during the race

They're cooler at night
Mile 7, Hill #1: The course doubled back on itself here. The people coming back out of the woods were at my level, but we went on a steep downhill into the woods. Oh no. We hit our first hill after going down into the woods and... it was okay.

Mile 8, Hill #2: This is less okay.

Mile 8, Hill #3: I hate everything, and this is the dumbest idea I've ever had.

Mile 9, Hill #4: Passed by a kid being pushed in a stroller... wanted to climb in the stroller. Or cry and lay on the ground.

I don't think I actually would've stopped but at mile 9 I really hated my life, and didn't want to run anymore. I walked a little up the hill. I knew there was a water stop, and my marathon running psycho friend and her cute dog and boyfriend were at the top of the hill. So I told myself maybe make it to there and don't be crying when you see them, you giant pussy.

However at the top of the hill there was a cheer spot, which included a DJ and in this case a water stop and about forty people dancing. They all had signs of varying levels of inappropriateness and were on a sliding scale of drunk. They were VERY loud and enthusiastic and I felt like my whole body took a breath and said "yep, you got this."

And get this - I was actually SMILING when I ran into my friends!! Little did they know I had been picking out burial sites next to the road fifty feet before.

Mile 10.1: Whelp, this is officially the farthest I've ever run.

Mile 11: Two more miles Megan. Maybe try going a little faster? Somehow I actually did go faster.


Also there were photographers at mile 12 and I tried to smile but I look like I'm pooping. The pictures did not turn out good.

Mile 12.75ish: Someone on the sideline yells that we're some hundred odd yards from the finish and in a desperate bid to leave it all on the table (or just be done as soon as possible) I started sprinting in. It was really cool passing people limping through that last mile. Even though everything hurt a LOT I was so proud I could kick it into gear. My last mile I did at 8:00 min pace!

2:36:42. Never running again 😜 #phillyhalf #DONE #ice #somuchice by @kieshorse


Mile 13.2: Soft pretzels.

Total Time: 2:36:42. Considering even my best ten mile runs were on the high side of 2:10, I was satisfied with that time. It was good enough while giving me something (breaking 2:30) to work towards next time.

And yes, there will be a next time. In fact, I already signed up. Rutgers New Brunswick, 4/09/17.

Wait.... that means... I have to train in the winter.

Oh no.


  1. I am so impressed with your dedication!! Also with signing up for another one, pretty sure if I ever staggered through 13 miles that I would never, ever run again.

    1. yeah but if you DID it you would then know you COULD do it and the next one would be easier!!

      ... in theory.

  2. GET IT GIRL!! You are my hero. I agreed to run a 5k with a couple friends in the spring, and I'm not even quite sure I can do that. Wish you were just a bit closer so we could run/train/suffer together on a daily basis!

    1. you can do it!!! a 5k is only 3 miles, no problem at all. You could run/walk most of it right now!!

      I keep thinking I shoudl train with other people but I run funny slow and get embarrassed so I don't know if I would even if we lived closer...

  3. Awesome job! Your running thoughts are quite similar to mine.

    1. thanks!! and I think theyre similar to most peoples... I felt like out of all the people running near me I had the most rage and despair.

  4. I seem to be on an every three years half marathon schedule. It takes me that long to forget how horrid it was. Cheers to your shorter memory and obviously much higher level of dedication! lol

    1. yeah I actually really enjoyed the whole process and it helped me so much with Runkle being broken and all that I don't want to lose momentum... plus I'm super competitive!

    2. I'm super competitive too but somewhere around mile 11 I'm like "Bish, you has lost yo damn mind".

  5. So proud girl, congrats!! Also tho, I lol'd a bit at the "pictures did not turn out well" comment!

  6. Not even pie could get me around three miles, let alone thirteen. Get it girl!

  7. Congratulations! YOu should come here and do the Bluenose Marathon! I am so incredibly impressed with people who run like this.


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