I have two kinds of ornaments: cats and horses. Probably because two things are important: cats and horses. I also have a box of plain ol' balls that I believe my grandma got for 10 cents way, way back in the day to make me look a little less crazy, or so I'd like to think.
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| Have a holly jolly Christmas. |
I was excited to write this, because no one comes to my apartment which means no one gets to admire my tree!! It's a shame. However before I could, tragedy struck. Because I have cats.
And before you're like omg, megan, stfu, that's what cats do, destroy trees, then let me tell you my previous cats have
never bothered my tree. And it's not like they haven't had reason to.
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| My beautiful Roxanne. RIP. |
But when I got back from London in 2015, less one cat, I got a
new cat. And he is... well... he's kind of a piece of shit. But I love him anyway.
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| He's a ninja when it comes to getting out of my apartment. |
He only has three legs (and cat AIDS). But I wanted a male black cat (number of legs unspecified) and it was his last day at the shelter so... welcome to the family, Poe.
By far the worst thing about him is his obsession with the tree.
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| Note the bottom half of the lights no longer working. |
I have no idea how he broke the lights but HE DEFINITELY DID IT.
And then the cherry on top (or the star? on top of the tree?) was I came home the other day to this:
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| I didn't do it. |
Can't even hide from the scene of the crime properly. Somehow through all that carnage only ONE ornament broke!
But enough is enough, he needs to stop taking it out on the tree. I have no idea what his vendetta is against Christmas.
No idea at all....
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Festivus, whatever your choice of holiday might be. Go enjoy some eggnog and cuddle your animals, even if they are bad tree ruiners.
Cats are so damn evil! I must admit I laughed pretty hard at the Christmas tree picture. Maybe I'm secretly a cat...
ReplyDeleteonce i realized he didnt break ALL of my ornaments I found it significantly more funny
Delete... little turd.
oh my that cat
ReplyDeleteOMG that last pictures.
ReplyDeleteCats. Not even once.
ReplyDelete{as i sit here typing this, actually honest to god covered in cats....}
If it makes you feel better, I've lost many ornaments to the dogs tail! They fly thru the air like pretty colored glass projectiles :(
ReplyDeleteWhy are cats such assholes?!
ReplyDeleteI still want one.
I've had a cat topple a tree. Fortunately our current cats just sleep underneath confused as to why we brought the outside in.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he wanted to use it to make a peg leg? :)
It's amazing the path of destruction (i.e., the Christmas tree) such a small, innocent looking companion animal can evoke. I don't have a cat, but my two dogs are intent on ruling my house. This year alone they ate part of a Bible (I'm sure that's a sin), a delicious loaf of rosemary bread, and several sections of toilet paper from the roll. The good news is they leave our tree alone. Bless you for taking in this special and curious kitty! ;)
ReplyDelete